Get This Potty Started

Every now and then I catch a hint of a little joke that husbands have about what their wives do all day. The little comment here or there that alludes to us spending our days watching soap operas or going out to chatty lunches with our girlfriends. Matthew never jokes about this because he, unlike many fathers, has been on Daddy Duty for days at a time and is thus one of the enlightened. My friend Danielle's husband does not joke about it either, because he works from home. Recently he has relocated to working out of the RV in their backyard. He too is enlightened.

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Yesterday, Danielle and I decide to pack a lunch and meet at the library for Story Time, then go to the park. I grab stuff for lunch, have the girls go potty before we leave, and load everyone in the minivan. We sit down for storytime at the library at 11:00am. We are listening to stories about ducks. Danielle arrives around 11:10 with her two daughters, Camryn and baby Kate, and her neighbor's son, Tyler, in tow. Before Danielle can even sit down, Tyler needs to go to the bathroom. She leaves her girls with me and hurries Tyler to the restroom. When she returns, we are singing “The Wheels on the Bus”. Camryn tells Danielle that now she needs to go potty. Danielle takes both girls and Tyler back to the restrooms. In the middle of another duck story, they return. Storytime ends with a rousing chorus of “If You're Happy and You Know It”, and we all walk over to the park and sit down to eat our picnic lunch. As we're setting out our food, Harper needs to go to the bathroom. I leave my other two with Danielle and carry her down the sidewalk to the park restrooms and take her to go potty. She says the park potty smells funny. When we return, we are ready to eat. Five minutes into lunch, Bethany announces she needs to go potty too. Why didn't you tell me when I took Harper 5 minutes ago? Because I didn't know I had to go then. Danielle says she can take Bethany because she has to go herself anyway. As they get ready to go Bethany says never mind, she doesn't have to go after all. Are you sure? Yes, it just came for a second but now it's gone. So Danielle walks down to the restrooms and Camryn goes along too. As soon as they get back, Bethany realizes that yes, she indeed does need to go to the bathroom. Sigh. I take her by the hand and begin walking to the bathrooms. Benjamin is finished eating and decides he would like to come too, so he is running after us. We let him catch up and the three of us go down to the bathrooms. Bethany uses the potty while I hold Benjamin up so he can drink out of the drinking fountain. When we get back to our picnic, we are all finished with lunch and we play for a little while. The kids climb up and down large concrete structures and miraculously no one gets hurt. As we are starting to pack up, after innumerable trips to the bathroom, Camryn pees her pants. We make the necessary adjustments, make our way to our minivans, and return to our houses just in time to kick back with some Bon-Bons and catch Days of Our Lives.


After reading this, you probably have to pee now too.

Dear Mr. President

I love frozen yogurt. I looooooove frozen yogurt. And whenever I go to pick some up, it's apparent to me that pretty much everybody loves frozen yogurt. If you want to see cultural diversity, just go get some fro yo. If you roll up to the local Golden Spoon there will be a group of black-clad Gothic high school kids pounding down some German Chocolate with hot fudge topping. Climbing out of their Buick will be an elderly couple ready to sink their dentures into a dish of vanilla with fresh berries. Inside the place will be full of soccer moms, business men, hippies, and divas, all gathered together over one common bond: The joy of a frozen, frosty, fat-free treat.


Dear Mr. President,

I realize that as you work to fulfill the office to which you have been elected, your views and strategies on foreign policy have been at times both praised and criticized. Admittedly, I don't know very much about the ins and outs of international warfare, and while I'm sure you are not currently looking for more advice on the subject, I thought I would submit my idea to you anyway.

My proposed strategy for achieving peace in the Middle East is to tap into the diplomatic power of frozen yogurt. What better way to bring cultures together than with a bowlful of just that: live and active cultures? I will leave it up to you as to exactly how you would implement this strategy, but my suggestion would be to begin by building Golden Spoon Frozen Yogurt stores all along the Gaza strip, and to follow up by pitching franchising opportunities to Al Quaeda and other terrorist cell groups. A redemptive micro-enterprising program could then be put into place through which weapons of mass destruction could be traded in for soft-serve machines, sneeze guards, and various tasty toppings.

It is my sincere opinion that this is a bullet proof strategy (no pun intended) for the United States to create peaceful relationships between nations while simultaniously improving our global image. Should you wish to explore the idea further I would be happy to come to the White House and discuss details with you over a bowl of white chocolate mousse with Oreo topping.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and may God Bless America.

Sincerely,

Kristie Braselton

Scenic Route

About this time last year Matthew and I attended a Foster Care/Adoption orientation meeting and left with the certainty that we were ready to pursue adoption. We had been deeply moved by what we learned in that two hour session and we began the process to adopt through the state. I've already shared the whole story of how and why we leap-frogged from state to infant to international in earlier posts, so I won't go into it again. I'll just say that we finally have landed. Right back where we started a year ago.

We've halted the process toward Uganda and have taken a hard right toward adopting through the State of Arizona, which just announced that there are now over 10,000 children in our foster care system, the highest it has ever been. Budget cuts are anticipated to put an even greater strain on the system, and I'm going to a meeting tonight to learn about exactly what those cuts are and how they will effect the kids and families involved. We're signed up for the 10 week certification class this summer, and after a few minor hoops to jump through, we should be good to go!

It can be either frustrating or breathtaking to end up on the scenic route. I guess if just depends on if you're in a hurry, running on your own schedule and pushing your own agenda, or if your agenda is simply to be carried along and follow the winding path where it goes, content to know that you are headed in the right direction.

Blessed Yet Again

Our friends the O'Briens handed us an envelope at church this morning. Inside were the proceeds from a garage sale they held on Saturday to raise funding for our adoption! We are continually amazed at God's provision and the generosity of the people through which He provides. Thank you, O'Briens, and everyone who donated items for the sale!

The O'Briens are a wonderful family of 11 (plus whoever else happens to be living with them at the time) that we have gotten to know through the adoption organization Project 6:8. It is not an adoption agency, but more of a network of people with a heart for adoption and foster care started by a couple of gals from our church. Check them out on the web or this Thursday night for the monthly meeting at the Commons at East Valley Bible Church.