Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Non-Stop to Nowhere

So I really have nothing interesting to say, but I feel like if I don’t blog soon an angry mob will form outside my door. Maybe if I just start typing, it’ll become something interesting. In fact, what if I didn’t stop typing? What if I just kept rambling on and on without stopping to consider my words or organize them into logical thought patterns? This is a bit scary, but I guess I’ll try it seeing as thus far I have succeeded. I don’t know what to say… okay at least I don’t type as fast as others so I do get a moment to think things out. I never did learn tot type correctly. I’m what some people refer to as a “pecker”. Peck, peck, peck, using four of my 10 potential- what’s the word? Here is where I would normally pause, scan my internal files of vocabulary and find what I’m looking for, insert it seamlessly into the text and my readers are none the wiser that 23 seconds elapse between one word and the other. But no- no such break here. I must keep typing while simultaneously searching my brain for the word I’m looking for. I think it’s something like metacarpals. I wanted a fancy, sciencey sounding word for fingers. If I was pausing I would have switched those last two sentences. If I was pausing I would change “switched” to “flip-flopped”. See how this works? I’m not nearly as eloquent this way. That’s why I always prefer to write rather than speak. Like Paul. Bold in writing, timid when in person. I’ve learned a lot about insecurity. It’s really an epidemic among the world and of course the church. I’ve been understanding it in my own life and thus seeing it and doing my best to root it out as I identify it. The one frustrating thing that comes along with such growth is that then you can see the sin in other people. It’s like x-ray vision. So now I see insecurity everywhere and I just want to shake people and say “Stop It!” but I still haven’t stopped it so what do I have to say about it anyway. I used to think it was “humble” to be camera shy, for example. Oh, don’t take my picture. Oh, no. But actually, it’s none other than pride cleverly disguised as- crap, I can’t think of the word again. I almost cheated and paused anyway, but then I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Because of how my computer is positioned, I have to type with my arms slightly elevated. I wouldn’t have guessed that it would be my biceps of all muscles that would be starting to ache at this point. That reminds me of an interesting fact about myself. I never realized until a short while ago that the majority of the population drives their cars with their heel comfortably planted on the floorboard. I’ve been driving around for eight years (wow, that’s not very long, is it?) with my toe pointed like a ballerina or an equestrian jumper and having to do calve exercises to take road trips. I can’t go back, but I would say “to prepare for roadtrips”. Anyway, that’s a funny thing. I’m just too short. My feet don’t reach the pedals very well. Well, I guess they would if I moved the seat closer to the steering wheel but then if I ran into anything going over 25 miles an hour I would be decapitated by my airbag. I’ll take the toe-point, thank you. Okay, my arms are really aching now, and this is one loooooong paragraph. Oh, that looooong just gave me an idea of how to get a break. This sure is a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong paragraph. Ah, that was nice. Now I’ve got my elbows resting on the counter although it’s much harder to peck this way. Speaking of elbows, I used to be in a kung-fu class with this Persian dude. He was the nicest guy. His name was Phar-mar. He’d say “Phar-mar. Just think: Mars is very Far away”. Anyway, he was working with me and we were talking about a particular move and he said something like “You need to bend your knee-bows.” I thought that was so funny. You know, like elbows on your legs would be knee-bows. I thought it was funny anyway. Maybe you had to be there. Well, this is getting old and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. I must say, this is the fastest I have ever put in a blog entry, hands down. (yuk yuk). I’ll spare us all and quit now, but don’t say I didn’t blog! Don’t say I didn’t throw something out there for you! And one day, when I get out of this mental cloud-funk I have been in for the past few weeks I’ll do my best to actually say something useful. Until that day, goodnight.

7 comments:

Lisa said...

geez. Even your mindless yammering is hysterical!

It was good to meet you last weekend. I hope you're getting settled back in to life.

I still feel discombobulated, but in a non-harmful-to-my-family-or-anyone-within-striking-distance-kind of way, so it's all good.

I hope you have an awesome year with your writing. You're over the top talented!

SueC said...

hey there, Kristie......love the random. I followed it quite nicely. Helps that it's where I live most the time! Just wanted to THANK YOU for signing me up for Alumni Cafe against my will. I'll try and return the favor next year!

Sue C. - WAJ

StacyMichelle said...

Angry mob temporarily sedated. P.S. I am a pecker too.

Guy Hufstetler said...

Honest.

This is not your best work.

I'm sorry.

Really.

I'm sorry.

:-)

Hannah said...

HA! You are funny. I have definitely done this before. ;) It's kind of fun, especially if you're one of those bold-writer-timid-speaker sort of persons, such as myself. I definitely feel you there, Kristi. Or is it Kristie? I'm sorry, Kristie. ;)

I like Bethany and Harper a lot, by the way. I got to know your little princesses a bit this weekend. (!) They're definitely worth writing blogs about. And Bethany is officially my new favorite person because she told me that her favorite princess was Belle. Of course, fifteen minutes before it was Sleeping Beauty... but we ended with Belle and I'm good with that.

Hannah said...

HA! You are funny. I have definitely done this before. ;) It's kind of fun, especially if you're one of those bold-writer-timid-speaker sort of persons, such as myself. I definitely feel you there, Kristi. Or is it Kristie? I'm sorry, Kristie. ;)

I like Bethany and Harper a lot, by the way. I got to know your little princesses a bit this weekend. (!) They're definitely worth writing blogs about. And Bethany is officially my new favorite person because she told me that her favorite princess was Belle. Of course, fifteen minutes before it was Sleeping Beauty... but we ended with Belle and I'm good with that.

Amy said...

Kristie...

Thanks for making me laugh...

This was a great post.

Oh, I also had a lot of fun watching your precious little girls this weekend. Harper is gonna look JUST like you!